Are You Codependent With Your Passions?

Photo by Zane Lee on Unsplash

“I’m letting you go and if you come back to me, I’m keeping you forever.”

I surprised myself at how gently and kindly I said these words to my girlfriend at the time. I had learned that she needed to figure out some things. She needed space, and I had obliged.

But not without a fair amount of inner struggle on my part.

After a few months of dating, it was clear that we were both smitten.

Although, smitten is too simple to describe how I was really feeling. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was codependent.

According to Google, codependency is “excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner.” I couldn’t bear to be apart from her. If I was with her, I was happy, if I wasn’t with her, I was miserable.

My life was unbearably unbalanced, but I was too lovestruck to notice.

With the help of my therapist, I learned how enjoying time, activities, and friendships away from her would allow us to have a healthier relationship. I tried to be more relaxed, finding joy in the other aspects of my life as well.

As soon as I released my emotional vice grip on her, she quickly worked out what she needed to.