A few weeks ago, I told my wife through tears about how much I missed times when I got to help people more frequently.
I shared with her an experience I had read from my journal of a time before the career I’m currently in. I was walking to class and just had this feeling that I should walk a different way than I normally did, not thinking much of it.
About half an hour later I was sitting down to lunch with a good friend I hadn’t seen in a while.
It was his birthday.
A Family member was supposed to go to lunch with him but bailed.
So I bought him lunch.
I don’t have experiences like that nearly as often anymore because I got myself stuck behind a computer screen pushing buttons all day.
I chose the wrong career.
It’s killing me inside. I sort of always knew, but now that it’s obvious and I’ve said it out loud a few times, well, the implications of it are starting to hurt.
It’s like I can’t forgive myself for the people that I could have helped if I had taken the right path. The lives that I could have made a difference in had I just tried a little harder to find what was right for me.
Fast forward to tonight as I’m reading Pat Flynn’s Will it Fly? and working through some important thought exercises it teaches. As I went through my old jobs, analyzing what I liked and disliked, there was a clear theme of what I liked.
Teaching. Coaching. Mentoring.
Connecting with people.
Helping them through teaching.
I don’t get to do that every day anymore. Which is fine, but it’s not where I’m supposed to be.
I’m left asking myself, who could I be connecting with and helping right now if I had chosen the right career? It hurts to know that there was a difference I could have made if I had just chosen the right path.
But I’m not about to wallow in this failure. I’ve already taken enough time that I could have been using to help other people.
It’s time to figure out who I was sent here to help and connect with them.
And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.